Pomp and Circumstance and more Pomp

"All right, all right, all right" -

Wooderson, Dazed and Confused

Random stuff this week, you guys.

Salad Fingers

The other day I was about to eat a salad I bought from the market near the school. As I poured Italian dressing on it, other teachers looked on in horror. They quickly asked me why I was putting shampoo on my salad. After reassuring them that Head and Shoulders wasn’t on the lettuce, I showed them the bottle. They were fascinated by it. Most salad dressing here is sort of like a thick and sugary mayo. That mayo dressing/concoction is almost universally given with all salads. Even though the supermarket sold Italian dressing, I guess it isn’t that popular. Minds were blown in the English department that day.

Six Simple Rules

Very soon, Dylan Shearer will replace me in the Lenz household as the son in the age 22-23 demographic. I want Dylan to have a long and fruitful stay in the house while he is job hunting. I’ve composed a brief list for how to avoid getting kicked out of the home.

1.      Complete every crossword before Mom gets home from work. Frequently mention that Will Shortz just isn’t what he used to be.

2.      Come in at 3 AM every night. Instead of telling my parents that you are home and safe, loudly sing every word to “We can’t stop”/”We’re not gonna take it” as you walk upstairs.

3.      Before 5:30 AM, shower, make coffee, do a bible study, and journal. As Dad gets up, remind him that, “The early bird gets the worm.”

4.      Ignore that fact that Daniel has a driver’s license. Wake him up early on Saturday mornings and give him driving lessons in the Northwestern parking lot.

5.      Put all the tomatoes in the refrigerator. Inform the family that it gives them a better taste if they stay in the fridge.

6.      Leave cups everywhere. Leave them in the living room, bedroom, bathroom, everywhere. That’s probably the worst thing you can do.

There you have it Dylan. Dodge these and you rule the home.

Closing Time

Similar to American schools, M6 students (Seniors) finish school before everyone else. The English program performed a skit to send them off on their last day. In the skit I played an M6 student, which had me dress up in a Thai school uniform. The school thought this was hysterical. I couldn’t pass a student without them bursting out into laughter. They had a lot of fun with it and I got to pretend to be in high school for an hour, which isn’t a bad place to be.

I was also asked if there are any traditional American graduation songs. The first thing that popped into my head was “Graduation” by Vitamin C. The last time I heard it was at Tims the night before I graduated college. I remember half the bar sobbing into each other’s shoulders during its four minute runtime. Vitamin C truly was a powerhouse of the early 2000's.

They declined to use it in the ceremony. It didn’t quite have the same emotional punch, probably because of the whole language barrier thing. Oh well.

This week is my last week of teaching! It’s very bittersweet. I’m ready for a break but I’ve also gotten to good level teaching-wise with my students. It’s frustrating that the classroom dynamic has gotten a lot better and now it ends. On the plus side, I recently subbed one of the sections that will teach next year. They cheered as I walked in. The future is bright.

Mark

P.S. I feel inclined to give updates on Davis since Cambridge has consumed his soul (In a good way. He’s learning a lot!). He’s wrapping up his term soon and has five weeks off. He’ll do some Euro travelling and get to see the Pope give Easter mass in Rome. I’m incredibly jealous. Judging from how cool the new pope is, I’m guessing his Easter celebration will look a little something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx3EMvZrFR4

Cloud 9

“The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” – Britney Spears

Last weekend I went up to Chiang Rai, which is the one of the northernmost provinces in Thailand. Two of my good friends from ASP, Meg and Kyle, are teaching there with the same program I’m in. With a three day weekend begging for fun, conditions were perfect.

I left Thursday after work to head to the bus station. Normally the ride is about a half hour. But with the traffic being bad because of the protests, I figured I’d give it a two and half hour buffer. After sitting in the cab for an hour and half I started to get a little nervous. I pulled up google maps and decided to give it ten more minutes. We went about half a kilo and still had six to go. I hopped out of the cab and flagged a motorbike. Ten minutes later I was there. This is happening way too often.

The 11-hour bus ride was fairly uneventful and I slept through most of the ride. During the last three hours of the drive, the topography changed dynamically. Empty plains were replaced with rolling mountains and countless rice patties. Pretty cool stuff. I got in around 9 AM and headed out with Meg and Kyle to see the sights.

We started off with a local Chiang Rai specialty- coffee. The beans are harvested in the nearby mountains so the coffee is fantastic. I think I’d be guzzling six cups a day if I lived there.

Later that afternoon we stopped by their school. I am always surprised just how different the school and living situation is for all the teachers here. They live on the campus of the school, which is fairly isolated in a small neighborhood. We biked around the area and it’s absolutely beautiful. While the area around me is pretty green, Chiang Rai is just bursting with nature. Meg and Kyle admitted that their school can sometimes be a bubble since it’s about 15 minutes away from town. But for a guy who lives on a highway, it was a great change of pace.

For dinner, we ate near the clock tower in the center of town. The clock tower lights up every night and blasts an anthem about Chiang Rai. People flocked to the intersection to watch and take pictures.

We headed to our hotel in the city and called it an early night around 10:30 PM. Our alarms blared at 3:15 AM and we stumbled bleary-eyed into a minibus for our first stop of the day.

After assembling with a few other teachers in town, we headed to the mountain of Pu Chi Fa. This is one of the highest mountains in Thailand and is famous for its sunrise that peaks over the clouds. The drive was about two hours long before we arrived near the summit. The area was already filled with people making the climb. We picked our spot after a short trek to the top. It was awesome. Check the pix.

If you look near the bottom left, you can see Frodo.

Trademark of Kyle Ducharme photography, 2014.

We wandered around the mountain for a little while before making our way back to the minibus. Easily the most productive morning I’ve had in Thailand. But as Gandhi once said, “You can sleep when you’re dead.” Coffee powered us up and we headed to our next destination- Wat Rung Khun, or “The White Temple.” This temple was unlike anything I’ve seen in Thailand. It mixes contemporary art with traditional Buddhist images. With Thais being fairly conservative, this is very unusual.

Just the guy from Predator, trapped in the ground.

This is actually bathroom. What?

I couldn’t take a photo of it but there was one painting of George Bush and Osama Bin Laden riding a spaceship. The guy has quite a mind.

Exhaustion caught up with us and we caved to a one hour power nap. After that we checked out the Chiang Rai nightlife. In the middle of the town there was a night market with a huge crowd of Thais line dancing in the center. We joined in and had a few nice Thai women teach us the moves. One of the dances was literally just the chicken dance. Have you ever done the chicken dance for three minutes straight? My abs were killing me afterwards.

After a few hours of sleep I plopped on my bus back. 15 hours later, I was home and completely dead. But it was absolutely worth it- it was one of my favorite weekends here so far. Mountains rock. See what I did there? 555.

Mark

P.S. Davis was recently chosen to be an RA next year for the Alpha Zahm Alpha dormitory at Notre Dame. Congrats big guy!

Peter Parker: "You don't trust anyone. That's your problem.".

J. Jonah Jameson: "I trust my barber.".

- Tobey Maguire and JK Simmons, Spiderman.

One of my biggest worries upon coming to Thailand was how I was going to get my hair cut. The relationship between one and their barber is incredibly close. They've seen your hair grow through the years. They know exactly what you want, how to adapt to stray hairs, and knowledge of your style progression. I'd even say they have more personal relationships than OBGYNs.

Anyway, I was very nervous about my first haircut here. For the past 22 years, the guys at the Father & Son Barber Shop have been the sculptors of my brown locks. My usual "short, but not too short" has gotten me by for my entire life. So what do I say to this new barber? He doesn't know my hair. Do I bring in a picture of the cast of Mad Men and hope that I come out looking like Don Draper instead of Pete Campbell?

Dapper Don

Poor Pete

Luckily, I went with another teacher to the barber shop that's down the road from the school. We got there and the teacher helped me speak to the barber. He pointed around my head and said, "Nit noy, nit noy.". Which means, "A little, a little.". So basically I was still getting, "Short, but not too short."

My dude

The haircut was relatively similar to an American one. They still comb your hair and cut it-which was good. However, they don't wet your hair or use a blow driver. I ended up getting one of the best haircuts I'd ever gotten. And for only $3!

Technologic

Without an international phone plan, the internet has been very helpful for letting me keep in contact with friends and family back in the States. Skype has been the easiest way to have real conversations. Yet Skype is not without its flaws. With numerous Skype calls over the last few months, here's a close sample of what most conversations looks like.

Mark: Hello?

Jason: Hello?

Mark: Hey! What's up?

Jason: Hey. I can't see you.

Mark: Huh. Weird, I can see you perfectly.

Jason: Yeah I still can't see you. OK let me try calling you again.

* Call ended *

* Jason is calling *

Mark: Is it working?

Jason: Nope, still can't see anything. Is your video camera on?

Mark: Ummmmmm no it's not. I don't why Skype turned it off for no reason. OK I turned it on. Can you see me?

Jason: Yeah I can! It's really pixelated though. It's like looking at a Nintendo 64 game.

Mark: Ah whatever. So how ya been? What's new in the world.

Jason: Not too much, just the same old same old. School is really good, just enjoying being back. I actually just got some exciting news. I found out I got accepted into a program to help install fresh water systems into Malawi. I'll be there for two months and I'm going with several other students, so it should-.

Mark: Hey sorry you cut out. I lost like the last 10 seconds of what you just said. You said you're going to Benghazi?

Jason: Malawi. So I'll be there for two months .....

(10 minutes later)

Jason: What do you think I did? I took the belt off my neck and got out of there. Drove home as fast as I could.

Mark: Wow. That's pretty crazy.

Jason: Yeah man. Bar Mitzvahs. Anyway, how have you been?

Mark: I've been great! Thailand is-

Jason: Hey you're breaking up.

Mark: Oh OK. Can you hear me now?

Jason: Hello?

Mark: Jason? Can you hear me? Jason? This stupid piece of -

* Call ended *

* Connection lost *

* Having trouble? Check your internet connection *

Like I said last week, I'll be up in Chiang Rai this weekend to check out the mountains. The stokage level is high.

Mark

New Year Part 2

"Forget it Jake. It's Chinatown."

- Joe Mantell, "Chinatown"

Last weekend was Chinese New Year. I just got the word that my oldest homeboy Jon Moberly will be visiting in April, just around the time for Songkran (Thai New Year). I was planning on travelling for the weekend but decided it against it to save up some money to for this extended trip. The Rolling Stones always said that you can't always get what you want. But of course, fun can be found anywhere.

Thailand has a decent Chinese population (14%). With a sizable amount of people who want to celebrate a party and a culture that loves any excuse for a celebration, having a banging Chinese New Year is a no-brainer.

The festivities began on Wednesday. Many teachers and students headed to the temples to pay homage. Families went out and bought chickens. I’m gathered that the chicken to Chinese New Year is the same as the turkey to Thanksgiving. The streets around my school were filled with chickens hanging from poles. On Thursday, the nearly the entire school had gone to the temple. Friday was off, so I hopped on the train to Chinatown.

Chinatown is a huge maze. It’s essentially one very large street (Yaowarat Road) that has a bunch of small streets and alleys that shoot off from it. There was a band playing at the beginning of the road and decorations sprinkled throughout. I spent a few hours wandering these roads and it was a blast. These small alleys were filled with little shops, stands, and vendors that had come for the new year. Sometimes there was even a shrine hidden within them. The pictures can fill in these wanderings better than I can.

Making noodles - like a boss.

This guy looked exactly like Avicii.

I was slightly disappointed at the end of the night. I figured there would be some sort of parade or fireworks display. Instead, more stalls opened up in the middle of the road and it turned into more of a night market. I figured a New Year celebration would have a bit more pizzazz. Regardless, it was definitely worth going.

Balls of Fury

I had a great discovery last week. Hidden behind the cafeteria are 10 ping pong tables, constantly filled with students. I decided to roll up my sleeves and show these kids how America plays ping pong.

They smoked me. Even the 7^th graders had me lunging across the table. Granted I hadn’t played in months but these kids beat me handily. But I’m pumped to get back to my peak form of spring ’09 when I dominated the tables in the Lenz, Klamm, and sometimes Harris households.

I recently made plans to go up to Chiang Rai two weekends from now. Got another 12 hour ride ahead of me to get there-but hey, I'm always game for Fast and the Furious marathon on a bus.

Mark