The World's Greatest Party

“Life is a beach, I’m just playing in the sand.”

-        Dwayne Michael Carter Jr.

Man. It’s been a whirlwind of the last two weeks. Here’s what went down.

I finished up grading last week which means summer officially begins! It’s insanely hot here. I can’t shave on my balcony bathroom because I start sweating profusely as soon as I step out of the shower. In other news, I’m growing my beard out again.

Last week was very fun seeing friends stop through Bangkok on their way home or to other destinations. Being close to Bangkok, my apartment has become a temporary storage locker for friends heading back to the States after their 2-3 months of travel. The five new suitcases are really tying the room together.

Last Wednesday a few friends and I left for Koh Phagnan, one of the islands in the south. The island is famous for the legendary Full Moon Party that they throw once a month. We hopped on an overnight train that would land us fairly close to our destination. This was my first time taking a train and I was pretty impressed. The train mattress was softer than mine but that really isn’t saying much.

View from the top bunk

I was very disappointed that I wasn’t offered Chocolate Frogs. Get with it Thailand!

After getting off the train, we climbed on a bus for an hour, and arrived at the port. The ferry ride was very relaxing and I got in some great people watching. Koh Phagnan is a huge tourist hotspot and it was fun to see a boat full of world travelers. A quick tuk-tuk ride later and we were at our hostel. Home->Taxi->Train->Bus->Ferry->Tuk-Tuk->Hostel. Ya’ll ready know.

Koh Phagnan is a beautiful island. The water was so warm it was like taking a bath. We lounged out and saw the sun dip into the ocean. Dope.

Around that time, the beach began preparing for the nightlife. Every night the beach party starts when the sun goes down. Food and bars fill the sand while DJ’s spin electronic beats. Performers juggle fiery sticks in the air.

The best was the massive jump rope. They would douse this giant rope in lighter fluid and then set it on fire. Anyone could hop in and try not get whacked by this flaming whip. I tried it twice. I learned my lesson twice.

The next few days gave us some time hang out on the beach and explore the island. One day I noticed a group of people pointing at me and muttering. They approached me and asked to take a picture. They were Canadians on a scavenger hunt and needed a picture of a guy with a hairy chest. I gladly said yes and am now immortalized in this Canadian scavenger hunt. No seriously, I’m immortalized. Two more groups on the hunt took pictures with me that afternoon.

While people had slowly been gathering over the past few days, the night of the Full Moon Party had a definite fever pitch in the air. Koh Phagnan is very close to several other islands. Many travelers come to stay for that night or to stay up all night and go back to their respective island in the morning. The partygoers go dressed in neon colors and loud body paint. As I was debating what to get painted, I thought back to one of my favorite Harry Potter quotes.

“You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry’s legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
“What did you tell her?"
“I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
“Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron’s got?"
“A Pygmy Puff, but I didn’t say where.” 
- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I wanted to keep my chest bare in case more Canadian scavenger hunts were wandering around, so I settled for the arm.

Looks more like a Norwegian Ridgeback but whatevs

The night of the actual party was nuts. Reports estimate there’s roughly 10,000-30,000 people who come in for the night. More fireworks, louder music, more dancing, and more fire. It was an absolute blast and we got to soak in the sun as it rose around 6 AM.

We stopped by our favorite 24-hour schnitzel restaurant for breakfast and called it a night. An unkind alarm woke us a few hours later and we powered through a tuk-tuk ride to the ferry. Thankfully it was air-conditioned and we had a nice nap as the sweet chorus of Iron Man 3 hummed in the background.

Back at the train station, we enjoyed some food from the local food stand and killed time until our bus left later that night. 8 PM rolls around and our train is yet to be seen. An hour goes by. Whatever, it’s Thailand. Everything is always late. Then another hour. Then another. And another.

It’s midnight and the nice train official has asked to see our tickets for the fifth time and informs us yet again that our train has not arrived. We go to the ticket counter to ask what’s going on. After the man screaming at the attendant in German leaves, we strike up a conversation in broken Thai. It turned out that either the train had crashed or the locomotive had broken down. The attendant said a train was coming, he just had no idea when. After having this conversation, all of us (including the attendant) broke down laughing. Some dirty looks were shot our way as we did this. Apparently our fellow travelers failed to see the humor in this situation.

All the buses had left for the night and there were no available trains until 4 PM the next day. We were stuck. With this train having to come sometime, we came up with some theories behind its disappearance:

1.      A green sign greets you as you enter the station. It tells travelers to beware of con-artists who dress up as train officials that will try to swindle you out of your money. The station had been hijacked by these fake train officials. They had hidden the train and we’re laughing their assess off at these dumb foreigners.

2.      We saw some train attendants leave the station with flashlights. The train had gotten lost on the way to the station and they were the search party.

3.      This was the first train that had ever broken down in Thailand. Naturally, being the first broken train, it would take some time to figure out how to fix it.

And just after 4 AM, our train rolls into the station. As the wheels started to roll I clocked our departure delay at 8 hours, 17 minutes. You win Surat Thani train station.

Sadly the mystery behind the late train was never solved. The sun set on St. Patrick’s Day as I got home. With the party and the hilariously long delay, it was another successful trip in Thailand. My next big expedition will be in mid-April, when this clown comes to visit.

Until then I’ll be spending my days tutoring, relaxing, writing, and doing some exploring around my apartment (gotta save that chedda yo). I’ve also started thinking about my next steps after Thailand. One of my reasons for coming here is that I wanted to get the whole going abroad thing out of my system. It’s done the exact opposite and made me want to travel more! But that's a post for another time. Goodnight America.

Mark